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October forum challenge

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michael

Michael Edwards

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Some great work being posted - sorry I've not painted anything yet but here's a few words to help inspire (you can tell by the last line it was written by an artist):  AS AUTUMN TURNS How grey the slippery pathways lie on days like this when affluent rain falls heavy on the thirsty land. See how the  watery rays of  light turned silver plated in the mist reflect upon the heath topped hills which dip their feet in shining seas where  silk white stallions dance. Listen to the  keening winds as lanyards tap and squawking gulls skim low across the paynes grey waves.

Donna Crane

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DSCF4152

Anonymous User

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Posted
Nice work, Donna. A lovely worded picture, Michael, even though it jumps between present and past tense.

Edited
by C J

michael

Michael Edwards

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Thanks Donna but really?

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by Michael Edwards

IMG_8857

Marjorie Firth

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" turned silver plated in the mist" adjectival phrase, referring to rays of light, no?

Sylvia Evans

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That’s how I read it Marjorie.  
michael

Michael Edwards

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 Ah I see where you're coming from but it's a moot point in these days when modern poets (and indeed many of the greats from the past)  tend to ignore strict grammatical rules. Mind you it could be said that the rays have already turned silver-plated when you see them -  but what heck - it's a poem. In the case above poetic licence requires the 'ed' on 'turned' without which the stanza misreads. To overcome this and maintain metre the stanza would need to be rewritten.  Looking at it afresh I think I would replace the word  'in' by the word 'by' 

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by Michael Edwards

Sylvia Evans

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Artistic and poetic licence .......rules is meant to be broken...
DSCF4152

Anonymous User

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A lovely reply, Michael, and I agree with the change of preps. I do like having conversations about self-written poetry and prose, nice to read or listen to others ideas and thoughts. Yes, rules are made to be broken, but on times, at a cost :) but these are only my thoughts.

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by C J

michael

Michael Edwards

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To get us back on track here's a local autumn scene quickly painted.

Audrey Hudson

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A few firsts here for me: first time joining in on the monthly challenge, first time using coloured pencils (well, since I was knee high to a gnat anyway), first time on black paper - not sure that was a good idea. Anyway, as I’m on hols in the highlands this is bracken from a lovely woodland walk we did yesterday.

Tessa Gwynne

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Michael, yours is super. I really like the dark tones under the trees. Audrey, I envy you walking in the Highlands! Your brackens are lovely colours and I think the black background shows them off well.
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