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MOST ANNOYING
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Posted
My today's offering
How long did it take to paint that.
The standard response is of course based on the fact that it's the result of experience so - 'Thirty years my dear' but what a meaningless question especially when it was probably the result of a number of processes each at different times without records being kept.
Posted
All the things things quoted are very familiar to all of us. We had a district nurse call to see to my wife. I'd been painting in the conservatory, the nurse said, 'Do you paint? Can I have a look?' You know what I'm going to say...we're stood looking at my nearly finished painting...'Oh,' said the nurse, 'my niece is VERY good at painting. Her stuff looks just like photographs.(Groan)' She then went into a glowing description of how clever her niece was. Not a word about my picture - that she'd asked to see. She was a pleasant woman, no doubt completely unaware that she was causing me a very low grade of annoyance. On these occasions I get the feeling that because the niece (or whatever) is so good, nobody else can be. It's the more pretentious stuff I find irritating, or laughable, usually spoken by people who should know better. But it seems to be part of the art world, so I guess we just ignore it or laugh at it.
Lew
Posted
That reminds me Marjorie - when painting abstracts I sometimes lay a sculpted towel across the paint to get a textured background before proceeding with the main paintwork. On one occasion I layed the towel on a sheet of paper and the transferred pattern was a work of art in its own right - it ended up being framed and it sold. Believe it or not a true story.
Posted
Third person self promoting bullshxt. More artybollox there than most other places.
Favourite dislike expression: "Go on then, Bob Ross, Rembrandt, Van Gogh etc, who/what, is it supposed to be?" asked sarcastically, usually by non-painters who can't paint a dog kennel, whilst wearing that " I have a five year old" etc, expression that someone mentioned . They'd find fault with a photograph. As a matter of fact, I try to only ever talk painting with painters, the rest are aliens off Planet Codswallop. I love all my family dearly, but if there are any budding artists amongst them it'll have to my great grandkids. 😆
Posted
Following the startling revelations in this thread, maybe it's time to attempt a few definitions of the art babble we're confronted with....
MY SON/DAUGHTER/UNCLE/CAT/DOG/HAMSTER is REALLY good at art.
(meaning: Yours is crap.)
PAINTERLY.
(meaning: Is it finished yet?)
EN PLEIN AIR.
(meaning: Open a window.)
COMPOSITION.
(meaning: An arrangement of compost.)
I'M ON A JOURNEY WITH MY ART.
(meaning: It's all going wrong.)
REALISTIC.
(meaning: It's like a photograph.)
HOW LONG DID IT TAKE?
(meaning: Why did you bother.)
MY WORK centers on an interest in the universality of our biological make up and landscape combined with the collective sense of the sublime.
(meaning: I can't paint, but I can spout complete nonsense.)
Well, I hope that's made everything a little clearer for all our readers. Additions and alterations are welcome. When complete, this Lexicon of Art Babble will be on sale in the foyer for the modest sum of 100 Guineas.
Lew.
Posted
I was up before the lark this morning Pat. Another comment at the art club when someone arrives earlier than usual:
Did you wet the Bed?
Well I didn't I hasten to add! 😉
Ah Lew that is the start of a great reference resource. Perhaps you can kindly keep it updated as we get nearer to Christmas wth (hopefully) more suggestions.
