Since becoming a professional artist and losing the clocking in machine, I’ve found it important to have a regular routine when working. My day usually starts with Classic FM for the financial news so I can hear how much less my future pension is worth! After that I get up, ablute, then start work. Recently, the radio’s been running a series of ads warning us to be alert for suspicious characters and report them to M15. This is deeply worrying, as artists are some of the most suspicious characters there are! Years ago I was sketching outside a barn in Cartmel, curtains kept twitching, suddenly the owner came striding across demanding what I was doing. Once I’d explained, he replied “thank goodness for that, I thought you were from the council!” he disappeared inside the house. A few moments later, he reappeared with some cans of beer. “Artists get thirsty, don’t they?” he asked, thrusting the cans into my arms. Not wanting to offend him, I gratefully accepted, finished my sketch and left. I never did discover what was in the barn…. At airports it’s just as bad…an agonising decision for the artist, risk loosing the baggage or put the paints in the hand luggage. We barely caught a plane back from Venice, when a student carried his paints through with him. At San Marco you are presented with a frame that the bag must fit inside before it’s allowed on the plane. After much grunting and squeezing, the bag was made to fit, but then became almost impossible to dislodge again. The customs officer eyed all the tubes of paint with great suspicion, taking all the caps off and peering inside. Eventually after a long dash we made it..only just!! I’ve been approached in shopping malls by suspicious security as I’ve sat sketching shoppers and been asked not to sketch the shops due to copyright! Even locally, before I paint, I have a walk around, looking for subjects, peering into gardens and down alleyways. Accompanied by a fellow artist, this action must look most suspicious to local residents. Even in the middle of nowhere I get into trouble. I had my easel set up outside the village of Lowesby, where a famous developer lives. After painting for a while on the edge of a gated road, a security van pulls up. Out gets a man in peaked cap and braid, “Wot do you fink you’re doing then?” Resisting the urge to say I was playing the piano, I explain. Suddenly he seems to register the easel, “Oh you’re an artist!..would you like to see my walking sticks?”. He explains that patrolling such a quite place is completely uneventful and so he passes the time carving. I get in his van and we drive into the grounds of the developer where he shows me his collection with pride. So if you want to break through high security, pose as an artist! So next time you’re out there painting, don’t be too surprised to see shady characters in dark glasses and trilby’s watching you from the bushes! Ps…Here’s the picture of the barn I sketched… Stop press… I now read that two fishermen have been arrested for using a light pen to scare away ducks. This is worrying, as I do a regular critique with one for Birstal art group who are under the flight path of aircraft approaching Castle Donnington airport which was renamed East Midlands airport, renamed Nottingham East Midlands airport, renamed again NEMA, finally back to East Midlands airport. The police are so confused as the weather the airport is in Leicestershire or Nottinghamshire, they can’t agree who should police it so I should be alright!