I have finally finished my self portrait. I have stopped tweaking it and completed the list I had made of parts that needed adjusting. If there is one thing that I have learnt from this exercise and that is to select a good photo to work from. I liked the photo I picked but I don't have much expression in it, just looking straight at the camera. That's ok for a photograph but when it is reflected in a painting it doesn't seem to offer much - I suppose what I mean is that it doesn't tell a story. Anyway, its quite a good likeness, if I ignore all the points I don't like about it I did manage to achieve what I devised the exercise for and that was to try to do a portrait in oil pastels, quickly and well. I have managed to do that. I must admit that when I stepped back from my easel to have a final look at it I saw my mum looking back at me - now that is scary. To other matters, plagued with nightmares again last night. This time I dreamt that my estranged husband had taken the children for the day then returned with my eldest son to pick up their things. He said he was taking them to live with him, my son kept saying he didn't care who he lived with and though I tried to stand in the way at the door, my husband just laughed and pushed me out of the way. It was so vivid and I haven't been able to shake the fear of it all day. It's not helped by the fact that my husband turned up to take them out today. I think, well I know that nightmares are just a manifestation of my fears but when they are so real like that its pretty horrendous. We have reached a real low in that my estranged husband and I don't talk to each other at all now. What sort of example this is setting to the children I have no idea - still it makes my life easier not having to talk to him. I watched him looking at the Galaxy today. He was examining the pile of snow still on the windscreen. I know what he was thinking, he was judging whether or not I had taken it out since I declared I wanted nothing more to do with it. The weather has been on my side in that respect since it hasn't been safe to drive over the last week anyway. Lets hope the snow thaws before Tuesday when I need to take my eldest son to the orthodontist. I manage 2 school netball teams and its our inter school league starting on Wednesday. Last year our A Team won the league, the first time the school had ever done so. Not only that but we won the South Cheshire schools tournament and secured a place in the county finals. We got knocked out at the quarter finals but we did really well. I don't work at that school anymore but I still do the netball for them (generous I know!!). Needless to say it will be netball overdose for the next few weeks. Both my younger son and my daughter are playing in one of the teams. My daughter is fine and a really good player, my youngest son is also very good but he is mega competitive and I know that if the team he is playing in fall behind or look like they are going to lose he will struggle to maintain his composure - I think I'm more worried about that than anything. If you have ever had a child who is competitive to an extreme then you will know exactly what I mean.