Thanks to Jean Lacey for putting a comment on one of my older paintings wondering why she hadn't seen me about lately. While it's true that I had another depressive episode, to which I'm prone from time to time, the real reason for temporary disappearance is that - partly though not entirely coincidentally - I reached a "what next?" point. Most of us, I think, do ... and if the alternative is that we stay in a rut and keep doing the same thing, that's probably neither surprising nor, really, anything to worry about. Such comforting reflections do not, however, necessarily help one to answer the question - i.e. where next? It's not just a matter of (non-) sales - though this matters. Actually, not only does it matter, but it influences the question so that you can't disentangle the artistic from the commercial - for instance, the suggestion was made to me recently that if I painted the kind of "jolly farm animal" and made postcards of them that I treat my mother to on her numerous birthdays, I could soar away on a cloud of financial success.... Not too sure I actually believe that, but never mind. The point however is that I can do those things for my mother because I know how she thinks and what she likes - pigs principally, but quirky animal paintings in general. I find them easy to do - for her - because I imagine the pleasure she will get from them; and that inspires me, motivates me, helps me think of subjects (although as she's now 85, I'm beginning to run dangerously short of subjects...). But I only really want to do them for my mother .... I don't do them for my own pleasure, but for hers. Anyway - I'll have a go, and if the money rolls in as a consequence, believe me I'll let you know. I listen, I think, too much to other people - well-intentioned always, but the trouble is their advice introduces the worm of self-doubt. Once you start producing quirky and supposedly "funny" images, and sell some - how do you move on? How do avoid type-casting? It's probably irrelevant. I don't suppose for a minute that vast commercial success will ensue if I but paint podgy pigs in provocative poses - but WHAT would I do if it did? Don't know! Still, I'll post my birthday card to mother, together with a small painting I did for her birthday, in a day or two ... or even now, if I get round to it. And I expect POL will be as kind to me as it usually is, even though both are essentially cartoons - but I leave you for now with the reflection that there's nothing like a recession for making you question what and why you're painting; whether commercial success is really the reason for your painting in the first place; and whether these questions would ever occur to you at all if you were still enjoying consistent sales... In passing, may I strongly recommend you all pay a visit to www.kenbushe.co.uk, where you will find beautifully luminous oil paintings, and also, if you look carefully, his pet rabbit, whose image I have stolen for my birthday card to mum!