I hate New Year's Eve. I guess its a time for reflecting back to the last year and it has been such an awful year for me that I don't want to reflect on anything. The other thing that New Year is, is looking forward to the future year. I don't know what I have to look forward to except more hassle, problems and twisted games. Unless someone buys me a car, gives me enough money for a divorce or I start earning some money from my artwork....and of course if someone wouldn't mind making my husband disappear in a puff of smoke that would be much appreciated. I didn't feel like doing much today so have painted quite a bit. Have begun work on the path and the bushes to the left side of the path. As predicted I did find them tricky because I was trying to do too much detail, will have another go tomorrow on those bushes and continuing with the path layers, as well as adding plant details that hang over the path edge. We had to walk to the local supermarket to do some shopping, it wasn't too bad. The kids helped with the carrying. We took a walk to check if my Galaxy car was still parked in the car park round the corner. To our surprise it was gone and in its place was the Golf. The Golf is my car, but my ex husband tended to drive it because it was cheaper on the fuel. Delighted that we would be able to have a car we hurried back home to fetch the key for the Golf. Nothing is easy is it and I think sometimes when you have a little bit of hope, when that gets dashed the fall is so much harder to take. The key to the Golf has gone. It has hung for a while in its usual place in the key cupboard and although we have searched high and low I can only assume that when visiting the children my ex husband has taken it. Since he also has all the paperwork for the Golf I cannot even prove to a lock smith that I own the car in order to have more keys cut for it or to break into it. The even sadder thing is that he phoned up tonight and chatted to the children. The restraint I had was amazing, the temptation to grab hold of the phone and tell him what I thought was overwhelming but I with-held. My daughter told him she was tired due to having to walk everywhere because we have no car - he told her 'it's a drag isn't it!' To top it off when we were walking to the supermarket we bumped into my husband's best friend who wanted to know why we were walking to the supermarket, I couldn't hold back I'm afraid and it all came out in a mad rush - tears and all. Needless to say he responded in silence and suddenly I invented a new way of getting to the co-op which involved the immediate launching of me and the kids down a side street with the children looking extremely puzzled as to why we should be going that way. God knows what he thought as he carried on his walk. I have fought off the party invitations for tonight! Its no surprise that there are no invites, people don't know what to do when you're on your own, they don't want to appear to take sides so I have found you tend to get excluded, then later when they find out you were on your own, they show surprise and say you should have gone round -as if you would without an invitation! Anyway despite wanting to stay in the house and protect it, I am going to my brothers with the children to sleep over, even if we all have to squash into my sister in laws mini to get there. Have a Happy New Year - or at least a peaceful one.