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Painting Competitions
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The Christmas card one has a prize of £200 to your favourite charity: but that's me .... I'm my favourite charity..... Pause, Dawn! Reflect! Consider! Think of the elderly artist, struggling manfully (or womanfully) in their dark, dismal garret or cellar - do you think we're possessed of the charitable impulse? I speak for myself here and myself alone, but my relationship to charity is an exceedingly distant one: when they say charity begins at home, I take this very literally; it does, indeed. In my home, specifically...
Although I have been known to be very kind to cigar manufacturers - will that count?
Not that it matters, because I never win competitions, and all my Christmas cards are rat-themed in one way or other. If The Great Ralph (TM) (All Rights Reserved) (RIP) were still with us, I'd win hands down; but sadly he turned up his little toes some years ago. 

