Soft edges in oils

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Hang on Studio Wall
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Hi, I've just joined the forum so hopefully I'll find my way around it! I'm self taught and started painting in watercolour but have now changed to oils. I tried painting flowers but the edges etc., looked hard and stiff. I like to paint people and faces, but again unsure of how to get a softer look. Do I need to change colours near the edges or do I apply the paint thinner and do lots of layers or one layer in one colour? Any help will be most appreciated. Many thanks.